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| Photo courtesy of Britannica Image Quest A Story From the Life of Judy S. Ghostwritten by Josh G. |
The Grass Is Always Greener On the Other Side
I remember when playing with clothespins in the backyard was fun. A hot, summer day, running on the green grass, sunlight shining onto it, burning my feet. But where did the fun go? Now, clothespins are apart of the ancient unknown to most, but not to me. These simple household items I used to hold on to, don’t have any relevance to me now. The things I considered fun back then, don’t phase me now. Times have changed, people have changed, people are gone, but now looking back on it, I wouldn’t change a thing.
There’s a reason why everything’s the way it is. I went to a catholic school in Columbus, Ohio, where everything was set in stone, and your future was planned for you. My mother, aunt, and my grandmother had always raised me to do what I want, and live life with no regrets and that’s what I’ve done throughout my whole life. And because of them, I became the strongest person I could ever imagine being. They were tough on me, because they had to be tough. These people have helped me teach myself, not to live in the past, but carry on with the present and future, because whether you like it or not, you can’t turn back the hands of time.
My aunt, grandmother, and mother impacted every single part of my life. They helped me through every aspect, whether it was school, my difficulties or anything, they were there. But now, everything has changed, and even though they’re not here physically, I can feel them here spiritually. So that’s why once everything had happened, I started going to church much more often, and now I don’t know where I’d be without faith. Religion really did save me — it gets me through the week. Opening my eyes to the break of day, taking a long, hot shower, getting dressed in my best apparel and driving to my church at the beginning of a long Sunday, at the end of a long, stressful week, just got me through. I would anxiously await as Sunday came around, then once the sun slipped away, I would wait again, and again, and that was that.
One by one, they passed, and finally my mother had passed in 2011. It didn’t really hit me that she was gone. I don’t think I cried till 6 months later. When she ended up passing, I remember sitting there, not knowing what to do. I just sat. I just sat on my couch staring blankly at the wall like it held millions of secrets. But I didn’t have time. I didn’t have time to worry about her not being there because my daughter was going through a difficulty and needed my help. I couldn’t worry about myself, I had to put my daughter first.
Then, that one day, six months later, it hit me. That’s when I realized that my whole entire family was gone, and it made me appreciate all the time I spent with them, and all the good memories we made, even the bad ones. They taught me how to love, how to laugh, how to cry, how to stand up for what I know is best — They taught me how to live. My mother was especially tough with me. She was tough with me because she lived through the Great Depression. She went through rough times, but she was able to prevail and it made her a stronger woman. All of my family did. They were forced to ration food, pay more attention how much they spent, and work even harder to get food on the table. So when they raised me, they wanted to treat me with love, but they also wanted me to work hard just like them. And they are the reason I am where I am, and the reason I am who I am. And they helped me through our hardest moments in life. And if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be here. And that, that was the day I cried.
These moments in my life were gone, and I couldn’t get them back so I just had to cherish them. But, it was my family, my children, my grandchildren, and my great-grandchildren helped me realize that I can move on, and I can make it through, one step at a time. I’m now living for them. They keep me going, and I’m just thankful to be alive, and thankful to be living with them, and for them. I have learned to adapt throughout the toughest of times, whether they happened at the blink of an eye, or over time, and because of that, I am still standing today. And that’s why I am the person who doesn’t hold onto the past, but keeps moving towards the future.
Fun was playing in the backyard with the simplest of objects like a little clothespin to distract our minds, but both generations and people changed, and it is isn’t that way anymore, so I cherish those. I remember those hot, summer days, running on the green grass, with the sunlight shining onto it, burning my feet . So now, I let the days be hotter, let the grass be greener, and let the sun shine more on it, because I’ve moved on, and now I’m stronger than I’ve ever been in my whole entire life.
